I’m Done
The Bruins are fucking winning! WINNING! We’re twenty minutes from being halfway to the first Stanley Cup in almost 40 years!
Fuck! But I can’t shake this sudden and desperate irking. Stop caring! Stop! Give up, move on, leave that lump of skin behind. So far, I’m secondary. A big damn after thought. That second blog I mentioned several months ago, the one my best friend used to have a glimpse into, it’s been up and down as of late. A mental tear inspired some vigorous words but overall, it’s dribble. Every couple days I wonder if my best friend deserves the privilege to read it again. Would she play catch up or is access to that part of me no longer a big deal? Are they just words, overheard, worn out, contrived?
The words of a close friend, a best friend by true definition, make progressively more sense. Unique words? “You have people all around you who are meeting your needs.” No, definitely said before. “No one says you’re supposed to be best friends.” No. No one says I have to be. “You have to stop and say ‘Enough is enough!’ Maybe you just haven’t had that moment yet.”
Secondary projects dampen my spirits. An early summer cold dampens my spirits. All my friends being far away dampens my spirits. Flashing, painful, drugged reality dampens my spirits.
Dear Brittany, please let go. Please forget. Please realize that there’s more to life than this. Please realize that a best friend can change; just look backwards, look who has replaced whom? You don’t need her. You don’t need this. This is your life, don’t you understand?
Now go listen to some dubstep, watch the Bruins WIN and move the fuck on.
